How to say NO
The Hidden Cost of Yes
While yes is easy to say, it’s hard to live. More than a decision, saying yes creates an obligation.
Saying yes to a project, a meeting, or a request commits you to something that’s often larger than you think. And things you say yes to have a habit of growing.
Confusing speed and velocity cause trouble. When you say yes to something it should move you closer to your destination. Sometimes we say yes to things that just move us in a circle — we work hard but we don’t get anywhere.
Saying yes to a request feels good at the moment. We want to be the type of person that helps someone. But saying yes carries a cost. One that’s often paid in the days, weeks, or even years in the future. What starts as a single meeting becomes a weekly one. A small project becomes a large one. Drinks with colleagues after work quickly turns into a weekly habit.
While saying yes consume time, saying no creates time.
How to say no to a meeting.
Hey {{ first_name }},
Just want to be upfront.
I don’t do non-transactional meetings. I don’t do meetings without a strict agenda. I don’t do meetings unless we absolutely have to.
Naval
The Focus to Say No
People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying ‘no’ to 1,000 things.
Saying no is like saving your money in the bank, whereas saying yes is spending it. Most of us are on overdraft. Before you say yes, ask yourself if it’s necessary.
How to say no before you need to say no.
Before emailing…
Is your question a Frequently Asked Question?
Unfortunately, I now get so much mail that I can’t promise to respond to everyone. I know this seems obnoxious, but I notice I have emails in my inbox that are two years old. I’m probably never going to respond to them, and I may as well admit it.
I respond faster to emails that are short. Two-liners I often reply to immediately. Long emails I leave in my inbox to deal with later and never do.
My email address is my first and last initial at Y Combinator.
How to say no on principle.
John, thanks so much for reaching out and apologies for my delayed response.
I have been trying to do too much of late, which makes it hard to keep up with correspondence. I also have to admit I am not good at saying no, because I enjoy meeting people and discussing new ideas. Unfortunately, the truth is that I am maxed out and need to take a step back.
Over the next few months, I will not be taking any new calls or meetings outside of my existing commitments to my business, family and myself. This will give me the energy and time I need to complete some big projects (such as finishing my second book) and be more successful in reaching my most important goals.
This is my blanket policy until I am caught up.
Thanks in advance for your understanding.
Tim Ferriss
How to say no because you need to create.
If you’re trying to reach out to say hello or say something nice you should @ me on Twitter, I try to respond to as many posts as possible.
If you have a question about making videos or want to share something you made with me or anything like that I would also direct you to Twitter. I know that’s not as satisfying as sending a direct email but my inbox is a big fat mess and when I made it public there were too many messages to respond so they just went unread – that sucks for everyone.
If you are in NYC and want to connect personally or have a business idea you want to talk to me about or want a couple minutes of my time on the phone or in person or if you want to connect for a quick selfie or anything that involves a commitment of time, any amount of time, I very very gently have to say no.
Saying no is hard. There are so many extraordinary circumstances that should warrant me saying yes, but I can’t. It’s a hard, inflexible no.
Family comes first, work second and whatever is left over I like to use for me which is usually going to the gym or running. There is no time left for yes. Even if that means missing opportunities.
Paul Graham really nails why saying yes for a quick coffee can be so destructive to the creative process – give this a read to understand the maker’s schedule.
My dear friend Ryan Holiday penned this pointed essay to everyone who asks for just a little of your time. It’s brilliant, I wish I’d written it.
I am sorry for no, but it’s not without reason.
Product Management MasterClass
This is a partly written, partly curated resource masterclass for product managers to go from consumption to creation with as little friction as possible.